I think im going to throw up on grandma
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have fence marks all over my body
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize