she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
