It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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