i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
