drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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