I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
