Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
