My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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