I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
