dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
