Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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