I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
