This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I look better un-naked...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
