Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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