Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
