With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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