Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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