32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
