I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
