i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize