I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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