Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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