on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
