if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
