Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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