Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
