i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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