I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
