I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
