You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dignity is for republicans.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
