don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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