Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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