Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
