i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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