he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
