she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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