i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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