Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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