she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
