Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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