I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
