Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
