I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
