dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
