Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
