Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nicole vs. Life
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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