hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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