At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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