You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
