my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
