Do vagina's smell?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
