did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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