i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
