Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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