just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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