when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
