I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Come see our sink grown plant.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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