That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
