I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We don't watch enough power rangers
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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