I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
