He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
