and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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