As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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