My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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