And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So apparently I’m into choking now
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize