So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize