Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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