porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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