I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
